Saturday, May 9, 2015
3:AM Kisses by Addison Moore
3:AM Kisses was dumb… There’s no other word I can use to describe how I felt about it. I seriously rather be audio water boarded by Pink’s get this party started than ever have to experience this again. I really hate hating books because I know how much hard work goes into them and how much effort goes into getting them published… but I still stand behind my statement. This book was just not for me. The fact that it is one of the most cliche things ever written really isn’t helping it's case either. I should have known right away this book wasn’t for when I was first introduced to Baya and her wardrobe malfunction… That happens on page like I don’t know two and that’s really when my rage began.
Baya is just lame. She’s one of those characters that wants to be strong and independent but yet can’t handle anything alone. Example: she has an issue with her roommate and instead of being an adult and talking to the girl she storms out to find big brother then avoids the girl. That is just 1 of the 100 examples of the childish decisions she makes. Baya is nineteen but if she didn't tell me, I'd have thought her brothers assessment of 13 was closer to the mark. Then there’s Bryson, who yes I called Dyson the whole time, is a real piece of work. First off if you know me then you know I love a good slutty guy in a book…. But even I have a line drawn where it goes from promiscuous to downright disgusting… And our boy Dyson is way beyond the point of no return. The thing he and he’s frat brothers do that really set me off was that they keep a wall of tally marks (they each have their own section to keep score) of how many hook ups they have. Baya even states that Dyson is hitting triple digits… TRIPLE DIGITS!!! So that statement already had me wanting to peel my skin off. But, to make matters worse with them, the way Baya explains situations she’s in are written very poorly. I don’t think you should use food to describe someone body parts (if you pick up what I’m putting down). The thing that really had me choking on my own vom was when she said she thought it was going to impale her and come shooting out of her mouth… YES THIS IS ACTUALLY SAID.
I have no clue besides looks wise why these two are even attracted to each other. He’s a stage five clinger and she has the street smarts and intelligent of a 5 year old toddler. Ha I failed to even mention that they have this “double dog dare you” thing as an “inside joke” but by then end of the book I had heard that sentence so many times I would rather listen to nails on a chalk board… Kid you not when I got to the end of the book and the last sentence in it was “I double dog dare you” I almost ran out into traffic! There’s only one real sub character to cover and that’s he brother Cole. Who I bet you can already guess, I also hated. He was also a man troll and lord help this poor boy because he couldn't seem to keep his “gift” in his pants for two seconds!!! PLEASE PUT IT AWAY FOR THE FIVE MINUTES YOUR SISTER IS PRESENT!
As far as the story line goes just take every cliche thing from every other YA/NA book you’ve read in the last five years and throw them all together and you will get 3:AM Kisses. I predicted what this book was going to be 25 pages in… “I’m guessing our leading lady is the shy sheltered good girl who will turn from a lady on the streets to a freak in the sheets… And he is the slutty rich boy from the wrong side of the tracks with a dark past who will be swept off his feet by this special snowflake of a lady”… That’s a direct quote from my goodreads progress page, and let’s just say I nailed it. Even the dark twisted past is exactly what you think it is. There is no wham bam thank you mam surprising moments. The forbidden love is so not that juicy, the big surprises are things you will seem coming, events you are hoping will be awesome have little sizzle to them, and the same goes for the smutty sections. This book was just much ridiculous thrown into one book. My biggest question however was WHEN THE HELL DO THESE KIDS GO TO CLASS???
This book gave me heartburn and a headache from rolling my eyes.
1/10 Double dog don't you dare say that sentence Stars