Thursday, October 2, 2014

Dave's Dish

Fault in Our Stars DVD
After months of hearing about this movie from Leah and Angela it was inevitable that I would eventually have to watch it, whether I wanted to or not. So tonight, I decided would be as good as any other night and made it happen. I started this flick with several preconceived notions, chick flick, cry fest, cheesy love story...pretty much the typical movie that I avoid.

The movie starts off introducing you to a young female character, Hazel Grace, whom clearly has some sort of cancer issue going on. She is pissed at the world yet denies that she is and her parents are in that awkward position of trying to get her out of her ‘whoa is me’ cancer shell. Speaking of her parents, if you are a True Blood fan, you’ll be waiting all movie for her father (Sam Merlotte) to shift into a dog but don’t get your hopes up because nothing as cool as that ever happens. So anyway, we have this pissed off girl that goes to a lame ass support group for cancer kids and surprise!!! There is a hot guy (Gus) there that is super witty and thinks she is the cat’s meow, oh what luck. They exchange some banter and before you know it this overly confident 18 year old one legged sperm-bag is inviting her over to his house within 30 minutes of meeting her...pretty impressive for an “18 year old virgin with one leg” (his words not mine). So prepare yourself to become ultra annoyed by this dude because not only is he Mr. Cool but he also thinks he is Joe Camel...Dude rocks a cigarette that he never lights throughout the movie because “it’s a metaphor” about getting close to death but not letting it in. Bleh. Moving forward the young couple embarks on a very predictable story line...He doesn’t call for a few days, she gets nervous, then he does, they have some good times and then…OMG she gets sick again (shocker).

Meanwhile their relationship has evolved around a book that she made him read...side note, in true chick flick fashion the book she makes him read is the focus of the story but the book he wanted her to read never comes up again…anyway it is clear that Hazel is looking for answers in her own life from this book and Gus makes it his mission to help solve her problems...Because that is what men do, solve women’s problems. (See Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) Gus arranges a trip to Amsterdam to go meet the author of the book so Hazel can get answers to her questions. At this point my dog, Wyatt, having a wicked dream on the couch next to me is the most exciting part of the movie. Then we meet this “alcoholic douche-pants” author, who quickly became my favorite character and the best part of the movie thus far. He completely destroys Hazel’s dreams of finding answers about his book but of course this was ultimately a blessing in disguise. Gus and Hazel head off to Anne Franks house and after struggling up 3 flights of stairs they get to the top, start sucking face (first kiss), and the whole room of Germans applaud...Why I didn’t turn it off right there I’ll never know. Cheese Factor 10. Then comes the twist that you thought might happen but wasn’t really sure. You start the movie knowing that someone has to die and on the last day of Gus/Hazel’s trip in Amsterdam...BTW, after a sexy time night for young Gus and Hazel, you find out that Gus’ cancer is back and at threat level midnight! Honestly, I was somewhat happy it was going to be him...I was tired of seeing the unlit cig in his mouth and hearing him say “Hazel Grace” I don’t know how many times. In true Gus fashion he was still too cool for school and appears to be handling the unexpected diagnosis with pun intended. I had been sitting through multiple cheesy moments and a storyline that was hardly believable waiting for my eyes to well up just once...was I part cyborg or was this movie just not that compelling? Then it happened, once it became clear that Gus was dunzo he asked Hazel and his blind friend to meet him at the church so he could critic the eulogies that he asked them to write for him. Anyone that has ever lost someone close to them and prepared a eulogy should be impacted by this scene and I certainly was. The tears started flowing proving that I am human, success! The movie progressed to the dreaded phone call where Hazel learns that Gus is more issue with this movie, her dad never consoles her throughout the movie because he is too busy consoling her mom, maybe it’s just me but c’mon dad!!!... Anyway off to the funeral. In what should be a tearful moment, the movie ruins it with an appearance from the writer dude from Amsterdam, cheese slathered back on. After a confrontation in the car between Hazel and the writer dude where he tries to give her a letter that is supposed to be the answer to all her questions but she refuses to read it?! Since the book that Hazel had been chasing for answers on the whole movie ends in the middle of a sentence, I was thinking was about to happen here. Instead the movie clumsily plots along for a few minutes more before we find out that the letter from the author dude was actually from good ol’ Gus!!! Oh thank heavens that she didn’t actually throw it away because it’s the eulogy that he wrote for her. It’s sweet and cute and wraps up the movie in a pretty little bow.
So let’s put it this way. I fully expected to not like this movie but it was actually has some decent moments and is worth watching. It’s like a super fatty piece of meat, once you get past all the unneeded fat there is something delicious at its core. Raw painful human emotion that is good to tap into from time to time. I do plan to re-watch with the Wifey this weekend and may have to make an addendum to this review…so stay tuned! 

 -David Aanderud

(This is our boss he's super supportive and sometimes he likes to fan girl with us. Hope you enjoy and stay tune for other page to premiere reviews done by David)